Aimless Life

     I’m so sick of these stupid goddamn smart apes.  Just for your information Hollywood, we would KILL those apes.  There would be no ethical hang-ups in a time of war against apes.  Women, children, and elderly apes would be killed without hesitation or thought of consequence in a post-war Hague tribunal.  If they decided to use human “human shields,” we would still kill everything that stood in the way of human victory, even humans; call it a necessary evil.  

     Maybe in the mid to late 60’s when “Planet of the Apes” was a new concept, was the idea of super smart apes taking over the planet a revolutionary idea (hint hint: revolution), but today, half the country doesn’t even believe in evolution, so the idea of accelerating or altering evolution doesn’t even hold water, let alone does the idea of quashing a revolution stir emotion (unless it’s the Middle East, i.e not-our-country).  Then again, Hollywood, you obviously know that half the country is one huge collective idiot, so you’ll probably make money anyway.  Fuck. 

    Frankly, the first “Planet of the Apes” movie idea sucked backed in 1968, and the same holds true today.  Please if you have any semblance of a soul , no matter how “cute” you think James Franco is, do not pay money to go see the new “Planet of the Apes” movie.

Okay. so here’s the thing… I was born in New Jersey, I grew up there, and yes, I spent summers down at the shore on our boat.  So I’ve seen “The Jersey Shore” from 1987 to 1999, when we moved out of state.  The shore is not that bullshit that MTV has so insidiously pumped into everyone’s consciousness.  Yeah there were guido’s and beefcakes and muscle heads and chickenheads and tramps and sluts, but more often than not, there were locals. Locals: The people who lived at the shore year round and made your summer shenanigans worthwhile by keeping the arcade open, or serving you ice cream on a hot night, or running the miniature golf at the boardwalk, or being a lifeguard at the beach, or running deep sea fishing tours all year long.  The people who made the shore what it was are the ones, that at least I remember. 

Fuck these Staten Island cats and their faggish haircuts and their smelly cooches and their orange skin. If it weren’t for MTV and their gay-ass True Life series “I Have a Summer Share” and “I’m a Jersey Shore Girl”, then there would have never been the ultimately gay-ass “Jersey Shore”.  Nothing good ever sprang from that show.  All I ever heard were fags from Connecticut saying, “Oh my gawd! Have you seen “Jersey Shore”? Its like so trashy and dramatic that I can’t stop watching it. I wanna go!”  FUCK YOU.  And fuck MTV.

I guess all I’m trying to say is: If it weren’t for MTV none of this atrocious fuckery would be possible: Enrique Iglesias - I Like It.

Peace bitches.